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Saturday, December 09, 2006

Performance Based Mentality

The performance based mentality totally sucks. For example : we are having our small group at our house this Sunday, I immediately thought of all the food I ‘should’ make and all the cleaning I ‘should’ do, and … it totally sucks!
As a kid, I remember having people over to our house and my mom freaking out making all of us do a massive cleaning of our home. I think that is the root of my performance mentality, and although I see it as a thing my mom brought me up with-it does not mean I have to live with that mentality. Ironically, when I go to another’s house and I see the messiness around; it makes me feel more comfortable. Weird. I want to break out of the chains I was put in and show the freedom I have. Therefore, I think I will start breaking out of my performance chains by not do the things I ‘should’ do for the small group this Sunday. Oh, hurrah!

Let me see where in my life I act on my performance based mentality and see how easy and simple life is. I do not want to compete with other women…it is exhausting. I love you and just want to make you proud. I love you and thank you for never giving up on me.

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