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Saturday, December 20, 2008

Loving vs. Liking

So I was thinking tonight about some reading I did in John 3:8. It says, "The wind blows wherever it pleases. You hear its sound, but you cannot tell where it comes from or where it is going. So it is with everyone born of the Spirit."
The paragraph talks about how God loved us and how we should in turn love those around us. I have no idea where the connection went or how I got to this thought but I was remembering a time when I lived in Lynnwood with my dad and at that time I attended Millcreek Foursquare. (It's a great church by the way- you should visit) I can remember a time when we were talking about the end of the world and what we would do if we knew it was ending tomorrow. I immediately said that I would go to the Wal-mart across the street, stand on a tall object and 'bring everyone to Christ'. I now look back and can see my heart- but I can also see that even though I wanted to do what was right...I don't think I would have done that. And I then thought, 'Would you do that today?' And the alarming thing is that I don't think I would. God is showing me that I constantly feel pressure to fit in and have people like me.
I can remember visiting Poland for the first time and the desire for them to like me was so strong I could taste it. These people that I had heard so much about from Travis, I was finally being able to meet! Granted my first impressions usually aren't the best- however I was confident to show them I genuinely liked them and really wanted to get to know them. ...
Stringing the thought processes together- loving people and having them like you isn't always connected. Look at Jesus. You know I really have a strong, tender and protective place in my heart for the Polish. I'm not sure it's love, but I can see it easily growing to become that. And this honesty is really me. I'm not going to delete the last sentence because I'm afraid of what a Polish friend might think after reading that. I say this with hesitance and nerves but also with honesty and real-ness. I can see that my calling to Poland is sure- I know 110% that God has called me there. And so this blog is dedicated to be one that explains the feelings of a 'missionary' and that includes the faults. I should not have had the expectation that they would 'like' me- it was a doomed mission to start with. Today I help others who might have similar expectations and, with God, show them that to love someone sometimes doesn't always mean having others like them. However, as with the Poles, people's appreciation of you grows. But I promise that it won't come without hours of prayer and quiet time all the while learning about yourself and them.

1 comment:

Kerstin Sunshine said...

I enjoyed reading this post- and coming from a missionary perspective (hahaha, at least that is part of my calling and yet I am JUST KERSTIN)I know of those expectations and the questions of how to love and how to just be who you are. I love your real-ness and you know that for I am the same way: don't beat around the bush-tell it like it is.
I have been through quite a bit of expectations and love-issues whilest here in South Africa. I know without a shadow of a doubt that God has called me here. There are sundays when I go home from church though, tears running down my face cuz I just face another lonely sunday. At the beginning is easy to love but it is hard when love is not relaly returned. Now I want to end with this: Despite all this I have been learning a thing that Paul pointed out in his letter to teh Phillipians: I am learning to be content with little as well as to be content with much. the only thing that matters is CHrist and HE is the one that uses you as YOU and me as ME....I am glad for that one!
Have a great day friend and keep those posts coming!